Deriva senza numero . Da Zurigo.

di Francesca Mazzucato

Andrea.
Mi sono sentita smarrita, perduta, di nuovo, quel dolore. Quel distacco. Poi per un po’ è  passato.
Ti ho dato un appuntamento nel nulla di un tempo indefinibile, in un momento indefinibile.
Ti ho detto dov’ero. Quanto e quando ti avrei aspettato
Andrea.
Sono qui e non mi concedi neanche di sentire la tua voce.
Non verrai.  Sono ancora qui. Lo sai.

Ti avevo scritto, prima di partire

Venire”
Arriverò a Zurigo martedi.
Raggiungerò l’albergo, resterò in stanza per un po’.

Ho bisogno di tempi lenti, morbidi, rilassanti.

Resterò sul letto, dopo una doccia,
con la mia tunica nera, quella talmente scollata che è quasi indecente, fuori.
Sarò, nuda sotto.
Forse una collana, nessun profumo

Resterò qualche ora.
Aprirò la porta, se sentirò bussare.

Ti accoglierò sempre.
Mi manca la tua voce, la sto regalando all’oblio
Non importa quando.
In qualsiasi ora, in qualsiasi momento, ti accoglierò.

e ancora

“Un Adagio”

di corpi. di tempi come li vorrai.
di te e di me.
di offerta.
di desideri.
ti vorrei nella mia bocca più di ogni altra cosa
e ovunque

mi mancano.
le tue mani così belle.
la loro presa

Non sei venuto, non mi hai telefonato. Nulla. Mi avevi scritto tanto sul tuo desiderarmi in un periodo che era stato di distacco, e sarebbe potuto essere il nostro “ritrovarci”. Poi c’era stata la rabbia mia e tua, la difficoltà, la fatica. Ti ho pregato di chiamarmi ma hai sempre e solo scritto.

Io mi sono interrogata sul mio desiderio. Su cosa rimane davvero. Mi sono interrogata sulla mia scandalosa tenacia. Le tue parole, erano state ancora illusione. E avevi, come al solito allegato immagini molto precise, che rappresentavano noi, il tuo e mio desiderio. Queste

Non credere che non ti abbia pensato, e voluto, negli ultimi mesi, nonostante tutto.

Pensare alle tue labbra continua ad eccitarmi, costantemente, se ci penso, mi eccita anche adesso, so che non devo.


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  1. Sergio 9 maggio 2012 at 14:20 - Reply

    l’altro è il feticcio della nostra immaginazione,

    la proiezione delle nostre pulsioni inconsce,

    la parte necessaria ad un “narcisismo a due”

    Aldo Carotenuto

    • Micheal 14 maggio 2016 at 5:09 Reply

      weird, i never even thought about it until you mention it – but i don’t think there are any pictures of my mom preggers either. or not preggers so you can tell. there’s one from her weddin but you wod#8n&lu217;t know she was pregnant there – not showing at all yet.

    • francesca mazzucato 9 maggio 2012 at 20:43 Reply

      si decide di custodire i frattempi,si fa un patto,è preciso e significa
      Forse è illusione ma significa cura,amore. di certo è illusione.
      Intanto,qualcosa di potentemente intimo passa attraverso il corpo.
      Sono territori molto delicati.Andrebbero protetti.Non si deve delegare

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